An Extemporaneous Speech Given by A. Tenth-Grader on the Topic of ‘Homemade Running Spectacular: Yes or No?’ after 10 Minutes of Preparation
Many years ago, a grandfather and his grandson walked into a watchmaker’s shop. The grandfather said, “See, Harrison”—the boy’s name was Harrison—“how the watchmaker works. He knows each and every part of the watch—how they function, how they fit together. The parts that make up a watch are miniscule—tiny details, really—but he needs every piece in its proper place for the whole to function.” The boy listened to his grandfather and moved closer to the watchmaker as he repaired a broken watch. The watchmaker never noticed the boy, so intent was he on his handiwork. After five minutes, the watchmaker screwed the watch back together, wound it, and set it to ticking.
There is perhaps no issue that faces us today more intricate or complex than Homemade Running Spectacular: Yes or No? Yet, like the watchmaker, I have gathered the details and formed a coherent whole out of the raw materials. And it is with this knowledge that I say, “Yes” to Homemade Running Spectacular.
First, there is a desperate need for it. Many places in the Solar System do not have running, nor spectaculars, nor habitable homes, home-zones, or home-alones to create a Homemade Running Spectacular. Thus, we have a duty—nay, an obligation—to build these spectaculars for the benefit of all; and, there are many benefits. Not only does it provide a space for indigenous thought creation and domestic locomotion fantastics, it also enhances already-existing spectaculars through its youth-adult-robot tri-partnership program.
Second, it distributes information democratically through the classic top-down-then-side-to-side method. The recent political events prove that top-down-then-side-to-side digital nano-movements can prove effective even against strong opponents. Just imagine what this method can do against adversaries that do not even exist.
Finally, it provides what contemporary economists call “spectacular utility-value.” This term refers to the satisfaction that consumers—readers in this case—experience when they eat the Homemade Running Spectacular while wearing a utility belt. Surveys show that consumers of the Spectacular rate its value very highly—on average, a score of “pants” on the jorts to jean jackets in a social setting scale. In other words, it has more utility than money or leisure for some people.
And so, like the watchmaker, I am cognizant of how intricate and complex this issue is. See, it’s complicated. It’s complex. It’s five out of eight computers on a scale of computers. It’s complicated. It’s complex. Yet, despite this complexity, there is only one correct answer considering the need, the information distribution, and the utility. That answer is yes. Thus, the watchmaker shut the watch and set it to ticking.
The Week’s Training:
Sunday, September 4th: Long run. 17 miles, 1 hour 50 minutes. First run of the fall at Walden Pond, which has a whole mess o’ trails in its vicinity. Really great to get out here, fairly relaxed pace with the last 2 miles fast.
Monday: AM 5 miles, 35 minutes, easy on the river. PM 10 miles, 70 minutes, to the Boston College seminary and then Chestnut Hill Reservoir. Plus 5xstrides, drills, and core.
Tuesday: Workout. 8 mile tempo run starting on the track and then going around the athletic complex. 5:30 per mile on the track and then about the same off the track, perhaps a tad faster. Felt quite smooth, and we had a good group going.
Wednesday: AM 5 miles, 35 minutes. PM 10 miles, 70 minutes. Legs felt a bit tired, but not bad. Hips a bit sore, perhaps from running on the track for the first time in a while and from the core circuit. Ran on the Minuteman Bike Path. I think the Minuteman Bike Path logo speaks for itself.
Thursday: 10 miles, 70 minutes. Twice around Fresh Pond. Raining like crazy, and cool out—just downright unpleasant, I declare, because Cambridge’s drainage system leaves something to be desired, namely the ability to drain. Puddles everywhere, the ducks thought they were running the show, but guess what: they weren’t! (They actually were.)
Friday: Workout—hills. On the Boston marathon course, specifically Heartbreak Hill. 16 times a 450-meter hill up and down. A good, solid effort, but not very hard. This type of workout used to be quite difficult for me, but it was fine today. 15 miles total.
Saturday: 5 miles easy, 35 minutes. Easy pace, on grass.
Week in Review
91 miles, two longer workouts, long run of 17 miles.
Side note: If you are interested in following this blog and receiving an email telling you when I update it, then write your email address in the appropriate blank at the bottom of the page. I will be doing one entry per week, and it is a simple way of keeping up. “Highly recommended” –Roger Ebert stunt double.
Yoko Ono tweet of the week:
The colors in your room correspond to heat energy: tension-vibration in your mind.
Best album I heard this week: If you’re into this kind of thing, Neon Indian is coming out with Era Extraña sometime around now, and it is streaming on NPR’s music website. I must say—fantastic, really great stuff Mr. Neon, Sir.
What day comes after Saturday? Find out next week on…
Homemade Running Spectacular.
are you that little winner under the banner? it's the opposite of the parts of your face visible these days
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